Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us

Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

John stopped his hammering as he was nailing down floor boards on the second floor of the barn we were building in 1998 and shouted to me downstairs, “Jonathan, I want you to know I enjoyed every inch of this project”. I could not have agreed more. Our project started in an open air shop enclosed on three sides with a wood stove for heat. We had a gas power hoist to lift the huge 12 by 12 oak timbers which we used for posts and beams. The shop set just above a meadow covered with snow, bordered by the Octorara Creek as it wound around the farm against a timbered hill on the opposite side. As I turned in the gravel road to get to this place I felt like I was going back to a time I never knew. Even though swinging that huge hammer working out those mortises with a chisel gave me tennis elbow which lasted 8 months, it made me smile. If I would not have known better I could have been working on Noah’s ark. I even enjoyed our prayers at mealtime. We would all get our lunch boxes, sit down in a circle, take off our hats and pray. It was a long prayer; quiet of course, everyone in their own closet so to speak. After a while John would stump his foot everyone started eating. Yes, John, I agree, I enjoyed every inch of this project.

John retired soon after this project, moved from 9 points in Lancaster county across the river to Airville, York County, to move in the grossdaddy house of his youngest son, Ben, who had a welding shop. It was fun to drop in a couple of times to visit him as he made a new home for himself, his wife, and pet parakeets. Always working, always happy, with his small shop, surrounded by family I felt inspired by John’s authentic happiness.

In the summer of 2001, I heard some people talk about a horrific buggy accident on the Norman Wood Bridge. Someone driving a van went to sleep and crashed into the back of a buggy, throwing the buggy up in the air, then hitting the horse and killing the horse. The father, Ben Ebersol, his infant child and another child were killed. The mother and 3 children were flown to Hershey with various critical injuries. Could this Ben be John’s son? I checked the paper and sure enough John has lost his son.

I waited several weeks after the funeral to visit John. I found him out by the phone going over a lumber list with his supplier for his project. Of course John was surprised to see me as he met me with a warm welcome. “Come inside and meet the family,” he said as he let the way. We first stopped in the welding shop were two young boys with legs in casts were pushing their wheelchairs around the shop watching their uncle manage his work. As we approached they greeted their grandpa with alert eyes and big smiles. I was clearly the outsider as they laughed speaking German. John pushed one wheelchair and I pushed the other across the gravel drive to visit the house. John had already built a wheelchair ramp to help the family into the home. Inside we were met with unexpected happiness and goodwill as 5 or 6 other guest had arrived. When the boys arrived the visitors turned and greeted them warmly, no hugs or kisses, just handshakes and huge smiles, but thoroughly saturated with familial love. I stood back by the door trying to take it all in as I witnessed something very foreign and very wonderful as this healing community cared for their own. Have you met Ben’s widow John turned to me and asked? Quickly, I moved to where she was sitting in her wheel chair and she met me with her radiate smile. The daughter in her wheelchair was sitting among these guests also.

John then invited me through the door which took us to his Grossdaddy home attached. Isn’t it wonderful to be surrounded by family and friends I said as we took seats? “Oh, we couldn't survive without them. It’s been so overwhelming”. John responded with tears in his eyes. We have visitors everyday, meals are provided and the community support has been so unexpected. They held an auction which raised a lot of money. How can I describe what that means to a person to feel cared for? Children are doing really well, John continued, it will take some time for the broken bones to heal but their minds are clear. They know their father and siblings are no longer here but I’m sure they haven’t grasped the reality of that yet.

I asked John if they have had contact with the driver. No not yet….we really want to, we would like to have relationship with him, we know we are having a hard time but we believe he is having a hard time too. We want to talk with him. What would you like to say to the driver I asked. “I want to say we don’t hold anything against him. I remember falling asleep driving my team. It could happen to anyone. We need to accept this experience as an accident which God allowed.” That is truly an expression of the Grace of God in your life, I exclaimed. “Life is too short to hold a grudge”, John responded.

This past year I read the book Amish Grace by Don Kraybill and Herman Bontrager. They tell the story of the Amish families who forgave the killer almost immediately, even showing up in large numbers to stand with the wife of the killer at his graveside as they all grieved their losses together. The testimony of this act has circled the globe. I entertained a visitor from India for a week and he heard this story and wanted to visit Amish Christians. Parents of the students who were killed in a school shooting have come from Russia, as well as parents who have lost children in bombings in Israel came wanting to meet these families. How could they forgive? Is there something about being Amish that helps them? Absolutely not, they respond, it’s a constant struggle, we need to forgive again and again every day; it’s not Amish Grace, its God’s Grace.

I learned most all Amish prayers include the Lord’s Prayer. “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us”. The Amish teach that God cannot forgive us unless we forgive. To all our Amish brothers and sisters in Christ, Thanks for modeling forgiveness to the world: Authentic Faith.