Never Waste Your Pain

“Never waste your pain” was a statement from my mother a number of years ago during a very difficult experience.

Certainly few people know the pain of Gerald Sittser. Years ago on a family excursion, Gerald was returning from an Indian Reservation when the car he was driving was hit head on by a drunk driver. In this accident he lost his mother, his wife and daughter. He was left with 2 sons. He was a pastor, Bible teacher, Theological professor. He was called to give spiritual strength, direction for others. Who would give support Gerald now in this time of unbelievable grief? He wrote the book, “A Grace Disguised” telling the story of his walk with Grief. “Water from a Deep Well” is not the story of his experience but written from the context of his life it becomes really meaningful. Where does one turn when one faces the reality of such difficult loss?

I remember a local Pastor Jay Garber whose son Fred, a fireman, was rushing to the fire station in a truck to respond to a fire call. Just as Fred passed the site of his home church where the road turned a bit, the driver of the first fire truck lost control and swerved into Fred's on coming truck killing him leaving a wife and 3 children without a father. Jay, both father and grandpa, said at the time he was so aware that everyone was watching him in his grief. Could he, as Paul, demonstrate in whatever happens, walk worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ? What was strength which carried Jay and his family in his loss?

Gerald Sittser, in his book, encourages us in times like this to draw from the deep well of our Christian history, a story of sacrifice and suffering. What can we learn from the Martyrs of the early church, the Ascetics of Egypt, the monastic’s, the reformers and martyrs of Anabaptist in the Middle Ages, the early missionaries of the evangelical movements? He picks out multitudes of noble stories which inspire and encourage us to model them giving us a tradition within which to live. In that sense it is a selective history. He could have included stories where the existing church committed the grossest of atrocities but this was not his purpose. As I was reading I asked myself, can anything good come out of era such as the Christian Crusades? The point being, even in the direst of times there were those who walked with God from whom we draw inspiration.

The burden of Gerald’s passion is to give a history or a respect for traditions to contemporary Christian experience. In his experience as teacher he sees a generation living in the present, drawing inspiration and energy from the spirit of the moment which works well in the wellness of youth but vaporizes during difficult times. Without our sacred traditions we are vulnerable spiritual orphans. In his own walk with grief he found healing in all the traditions he describes.

In our American experience we pursue comfort, pleasure, and perfect health. Popular religious leaders promise a life without pain and suffering. I suspect this is possible in a media culture where faith is expressed without community. Pastors who walk with people in local congregations can become frustrated when prayers are not answered in the way they “faith believe”. “Where is the authority” cried one young pastor from the pulpit, “We are given authority, yet kids get sick!”

I of all people celebrate God’s healing power everyday of my life in the life of my wife, Rhoda. Few people would know that she has carried within her body a disease called polymyositis since the age of 12 when she could not climb into the school bus with her own strength. In remission since then until our oldest son was born when once again it flared up and she could not hold her baby. I remember holding our infant son and praying for mother. God has healed her. We are grateful for knowledgeable doctors and modern medicines which God has used in our pilgrimage but it is God who has healed her.

At the same time testimonies of God’s healing power need to be handled with great care. We live in a fallen world and live in mortal bodies. To promise God’s miracleous touch can be as fraudulent as a salesman who “promises the moon” leaving one with painful disappointment. Jesus was most critical of those who would spiritually intimidate and in turn blessed those who are poor in spirit. Indeed the cynics easily point out traditions of “faith healing” generally have poorer health records then the general populations around them. The point being that our ministry as Christians needs to be a faith beyond circumstances; where we walk together as a body with Jesus, demonstrating the grace of God no matter what happens.

No one is exempt from suffering. All of us walk a lonely valley at some point and ask where could God be in this? We walk with a displaced population from Burma in our congregation from Burma. Suffering is too routine in their experience. This past year floods destroyed 400 homes in one refugee camp including one building which held lots of rice for the community. One woman lost her cousin by drowning in that flood. Fires destroyed many homes in another. The underlining conviction is that God gives strength in suffering. Or as my Dad says, "Not everything that happens is good, but it can work together for good especially for those who love God.